


Stuck

by LadyAttie



Series: The Fatal Cousins [1]
Category: 12th Century CE RPF, British Royalty RPF, Historical RPF
Genre: 12th Century, Cousin Incest, F/M, Forbidden Love, Historical Inaccuracy, Non-Canon Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-17
Updated: 2015-01-17
Packaged: 2018-03-07 21:28:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3183758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyAttie/pseuds/LadyAttie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He must have been mad to think of such carnal thoughts with a member of his family, especially with a particular cousin. But Stephen of Blois did not hesitate to not resist his feelings as she continued to dismay and fascinate him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stuck

**Author's Note:**

> Originally intended to be a one-shot but now will be apart of a three-part series. As this is the first part, it will be romantic. Next one will have a lot of angst.
> 
> There is no evidence whether King Stephen and the Empress Matilda were actually lovers. This rumored legend has spread in the years after their deaths over centuries and although it may seem utterly ridiculous and unrealistic, I cannot help but ship these two.
> 
> This trilogy will be based on the Stephen/Matilda novel _The Fatal Crown_ by Ellen Jones, so most of the events in this story is also situated in the novel. The Empress is called Maud here as in the novel; anachronism and historical inaccuracy will also be presented.

**"** _I thought you the most beautiful maiden I had ever seen, but so unhappy._ **"**

Stephen of Blois remembered the first time he had met his cousin Maud. She was leaving Windsor with her entourage to sail for Germany while he was arriving to Court at the opposite direction.

Their initial meeting, although no words were spoken, was completely unforgettable to him. As a litter almost collided with him, he saw a small girl lift her face to look at him. He observed with careful scrutiny. She had pewter-grey eyes that were sparkled by tears. Her oval face, splotched with patches of pink and red on her cheeks from crying, was framed with thick rust-coloured eyebrows that matched her long, braided, cinnamon hair. He saw her eyes meet his with astonishing curiosity, and he smiled. He removed his hat as he bowed his head towards her before he rounded his house around the litter.

Something was peculiar in that small exchange, but what? Stephen did not know but the image of young Maud stayed upon his mind for several moments. He could not help but conclude to himself she was a beautiful damsel.

He had learned Maud was betrothed to the Holy Roman Emperor as an exchange of an alliance. It had seemed unlikely they would never cross paths again but he knew she had a twin brother, William - heir to the English throne. If he was so curious to know the girl he would have to know her from his other cousin's knowledge.

**~*~**

**"** _Time has made you even more fair. I hope it brought you happiness as well, before your tragic loss of course._ **"**

Who would have known that the lovely russet-haired, teary-eyed maiden he had met on his arrival to England would blossom into a heart-striking beauty. Since the Holy Roman Emperor was dead, her father had summoned her to return to England. The Empress Maud carried herself a fascinating appeal - with her grace, charm, elegant carriage and high bosom. Any man would be brimming with desire over her.

But sensuality over his cousin was the last emotion and thought to appear in Stephen's mind.

Of course he had never forgotten about her. Whenever one mentioned of the Empress, the event of memory would surface over the pool of his thinking with a smile.

He must have been mad to think of such carnal thoughts with a member of his family, but he did not hesitate to not resist his feelings.

Using his charisma in attempts to overpower her, he discovered a relation between himself and she. When Maud mentioned of how hard her father could be, he found himself telling her of how much his mother resented him. Both were sent to strange lands and had learned to earn their places in favour. She even shared the same interests as he did, like his love for horses.

She was completely different from all the other conquests, even his own wife. Interesting his wife is a maternal cousin of Maud's. Maud was bold, intelligent, headstrong and outspoken. Her character may be unattractive to some men, but there was something alluringly special about her.

He knew she at least had some admiration for him, but he was not sure if they were genuine - at least not until that first kiss.

When he kissed her at that time in the White Tower, he lost control of himself. He was shocked to find a passion within her matching his own. He knew she was attempting to resist her very own emotions, but her desire somehow unfolded itself. Maud made no effort to push him away.

He was amazed of how she felt in his arms. He never had thought the sweetness of her mouth to taste even more luscious than his wildest imaginations. He half-opened his eyes and saw her grey eyes fold under her soft lids, her coral lips reluctantly responding to his. She must have lost control of herself too.

Unfortunately, the sound of laughter from his guards who had witnessed the scene detached themselves from each other.

He caught the sight of Maud's frightened and embarrassed expression framing her face as her response in betraying her secluded feelings but nevertheless, he was delighted she reciprocated them to him.

**~*~**

**"** _Being queen - this means much to you?_    **"**

As much as he desired his cousin, he desired so much for the crown of England also. Ever since the unfortunate, untimely death of Prince William he had high hopes of inheriting the throne.

But he was horrified when he had learned the main reason of the Empress's return to England was for King Henry to proclaim her as his heir.

When the King had announced the news during the big feast on Christmas Eve, everyone else was appalled, openly expressing their very own resentment and hostility. Even his wife and the ladies of the Court were not very impressed, and Maud's favourite half-brother, Robert, did not take the news lightly either.

Stephen felt as the King's words were thousands of soldiers charging as they knifed swords through him. He never felt so crushed in defeat. God must have been mocking him right now.

How could he have lost the crown to a woman?

Especially since he lost the crown for a particular woman he had feelings for. Why Maud? He knew he had loved Maud - wait no, he had lusted her. What a fool to think of contradicting himself. Once he had possessed her, it would have been over with. There was a little reason to sport after her once the game was won.

To make matters worse, as for the peers of the Church and the barons to swear homage to Maud, Stephen was forced to swear before her half-brother. This was considered an insult to the House of Blois, like placing the cart before the horse - a damage to his pride. Robert de Caen was merely a bastard, another product of the lusty King Henry's liaisons. But he was the favourite, and King Henry adored him. As much as Stephen was the King's favourite nephew and loved him as a son, it was a foolish decision. Illegitimate offspring had no place above the legitimate ones.

Stephen's brother knew of the Earl's selfless personality and how he would not submit to forcing others committing acts against their will. Once Robert would walk forward to kneel down to Maud, Stephen would walk before him to defy his position and remind the king the honour of the House of Blois; Robert would agree to have Stephen proceed ahead him.

And it happened as how Henry had predicted.

"Sire, I value your wish to honor, but it is Stephen of Blois who should take precedence over me in swearing homage. I yield my place," Robert insisted.

Victorious, Stephen knelt before his cousin. He noticed how beautiful she looked sitting on the carved chair and could not help himself to linger the ritual kiss on her lips a second longer. Placing his hands on the bones of saints' relics in an ivory casket, he swore his oath:

"In the name of the Holy Trinity, and in reverence of those sacred relics, I, Stephen, do swear that I will truly keep the promise which I have taken and will always remain faithful to Maud, my future liege-lord."

His cousin was close to tears as he smiled toward her. His feelings for her had started to return from the depths of his anguish. Despite his oath was his first step in his scheme to gain the crown, he realized he still wanted Maud. If possible, perhaps he could win both.

**~*~**

**"** _In truth, Madam, I confess I have not hit my full stride. This was merely an interlude while I warmed to the task._ **"**

When he finally first bedded Maud, it was when she was in a forced confinement when she stubbornly refused to accept her proposal to marry the boy Count Geoffrey of Anjou and he had disguised himself as her confessor. While the relationship was not entirely consummated as her chief woman attendant and former nurse, Aldyth, interrupted their interlude, he did not expect his feelings for her to not completely diminish unlike his past conquests. When her obstinate character led her to be spirited away to the Continent he never had thought he would miss her so much.

Despite the unpopular marriage to an Angevin would benefit his chances to gain the throne, Stephen could not eliminate the image of his cousin from his head. Constantly he was tormented by imaginations and dreams of possessing her even more and the encounter at her confinement.

He had never felt so much for a woman before, but laying with her a second time was far too risky for them both. She was married again and if they were discovered, what great lengths would her husband and the King would drive?

Hearing the news of her estrangement with the Count after a year of their wedding, he could not help himself to be excited but in order to avoid such a scandal, he would have to avoid and distance himself from her.

Unfortunately, she would not accept his cold behaviour.

"But I love you, I thought you loved me," she cried to him that night at the courtyard when she returned to England.

Stephen knew his feelings for Maud were exceptionally stimulating but in truth, he could not understand the concept of love. His own mother always had treated him the black sheep in the family, always favouring his brothers - especially Henry - and sister over him. He never had known his father as he had died when he was barely three years of age. Of course, he had seen other men and women profess their love for each other and his uncle fondle Maud's late mother.

But what was love?

When he had married Matilda of Boulogne, he knew she was very fond of him. She would occasionally tell him of her love for him, but he pitied for her, as he could not feel any yearning over her. Seldom he would regret he could not be a faithful wife to Matilda. Compared to her and his past mistresses, Stephen always perceived a distinctiveness in Maud. But the the only perception he knew of love was passion.

Perhaps in his own way he "loved" his cousin. While they continued their liaison, his fiery hunger over Maud burning as hot than ever, he could not stop himself from questioning what his true feelings for her actually meant.

One time he approached the subject of love to his brother in the middle of their usual talk of conspiracy. Needless to say, Henry was quite shocked to hear such a question from his lecherous brother.

"Love?" Henry glowered at Stephen. "Why do you suddenly bring up such a subject in my presence?"

"I- I was just wondering..." Stephen pondered around his mind to look for an excuse, "I have been spending some time with Matilda, and this one time she would talk of why she loves me and how happy she is to have me as her husband."

"You're asking the wrong person, Brother. I am not a philosopher but merely a Bishop of Winchester who has taken the vows of chastity."

"But did Mother not love you?'

Henry's pale green eyes stared warily at his brother. "If she knew how to love, why could she not love you?" He twisted his ring around on his finger. "They say no matter how wicked a mother's child is or if he had turned out to be a foolish bastard she would always love the child - motherly nature as they would call it. I cannot say if there are such exceptions, however.

"Despite our vows, the clergy does have to study the Ancient Greeks' perceptions over love. According to the Ancient Greeks there are four forms of love: kinship or familiarity, friendship, carnal or romantic desire and divine love."

If familial love had existed, Stephen would immediately recognize his love for his brother despite their differences. But Maud was his first cousin so should he not feel familial love for her? Then again, Henry mentioned romantic desire. Was it possible to feel both?

He knew there was also a difference between carnal desires and supposed concept of love. "Is there a significant difference between carnal desires and love?" he asked.

"You ask so many questions; of course there is! Love is an unconditional deep affection; it never is completely put out. When you love, it is not defined by experienced. It grows from a tiny spark into wistful fervor. Love is a very delightful feeling, but it can hurt and have a very high cost."

"A very high cost? Are you saying-?"

Henry snorted. "Brother, love may seldom have its consequences but you will not completely regret it. You feel deeply attached to the person, it is the constant desire to stay with them. Despite a person's blemishes you are able to accept and cherish them. Love is not always about carnal relations - there is such a love without it. You tend to care for them so much you would feel miserable they are not around. But.. but love is hard to maintain."

Stephen gaped at him. "What do you mean? Had you felt love for a woman before?"

Henry dared to not look at his brother's green-gold eyes as he stared out the glass pane window. _Must have been a slip of a tongue_ , Stephen thought. Perhaps Henry had once loved a woman but because of vows and duty for the church, he could not give up his destiny God had bestowed upon him.

He remembered when Henry would be disgusted of carnal relations. While surely he had felt the feeling of lust at least one point of his life, how would Henry know love was only not about carnal relations? Poor man! Fate must be really cruel.

After a long silence, Henry finally said: "From the first Corinthians, passage thirteen: 'Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.'"

He heaved a sigh. "I must say, I am impressed in your desire of knowledge over such a concept." He smiled. "While ambition is still a very important aspect for our destinies, you cannot completely deny the feeling of love entirely."

When Stephen left Henry's headquarters, he thought of his words along with his feelings for Maud. How long had he felt something for Maud? Suddenly the first meeting from when Maud was leaving for Germany crossed his mind. While he was attracted to her since he was twelve years of age and they had met again as engaging adults, with every opportunity they had in engrossing each other, time had formed a special attachment to each other.

As his brother mentioned of cherishing a partner's flaws, he pondered over Maud's character; greatly admiring her strong will, upright nature, intelligence; her independence... She seldom could be stubborn, restless and surly. But Henry was right; Stephen did not mind of those traits at all.

He was even correct about the misery Stephen would receive when Maud was away, painfully aching her. He could never get enough of her.

All these symptoms have occurred to Stephen and a huge wave of bliss and happiness overwhelmed him entirely. He thought of what he admired the most about her and the answer immediately opened itself.

Her brilliant grey eyes.

He had finally found the answer confirming his inquiries. As he looked down, he found her standing in front of him with a doting smile, her eyes shining.

From his tender lips, the outright words escaped his lips: "I love you, my dearest Maud. I adore you."

**Author's Note:**

> The conversation between Stephen and his brother about love is entirely fictional and made up by me, same with the event when Henry was once in love. I initially disliked him in the original novel, but I wanted to write a "more humane" version of him so there you go.


End file.
